Seven originally started off as five. Already longstanding friends and family, we headed off to Tenerife in February 2023. Four days of fun, laughter and warm love cemented the team forever. A year later, another trip to Tenerife and two more were added. And the rest….is history.

We are fiercely protective of our group – seven will not become eight, nine or ten. These guys are my ‘ride or die’ team and I consider myself to be exceptionally lucky to have them.

It was a recent photo of us all and after a conversation with a client about their hidden challenges, that provided the inspiration for this weeks blog. No one on the outside would know of the incredible bravery that my client has to find on a daily basis in order to just function. Yet they have encountered judgement, criticism and unwanted opinion from others – some from people that was expected but surprisingly, some from people that are supposed to care and to love them. They have to make decisions in the way to live their life that seems to invite uncalled for comment. This, has caused my client untold amounts of pain and upset which they seek my help to enable them to cope.

And then I saw my groups photo from the recent family wedding and I was reminded that we all have our own imperfections that cause us hidden challenges too. Yes, some of the imperfections are visible, but most of the time, no one would even know we are struggling. 

One of us has a back story of chronic pain, unexplained and unmanaged at times. Pain that can influence both mind and body placing limits on movement and functional ability. Another of us has psoriasis, a skin condition that can attract unwanted looks and attention from those who misunderstand it. Dilemmas and decisions occur around when to expose the skin in public on holiday and in hot weather. 

There is one of us that has breast cancer scars causing a continual concern around what clothes can be worn and how will they fit. Worried about drawing attention to themselves that might embarrass their friends and family. And how will a boyfriend react when he really gets to see the truth? Will there be rejection based on the scars?

Another of us has Multiple Sclerosis (MS) – a chronic neurological condition that can cause many symptoms internal and external. Mobility is affected and a stick is needed to walk – on occasion a wheelchair needed for transport. This one of us is a proud person, and having at times to surrender to this disease causes them emotional upset and difficultly. 

Many years ago, one of the group, due to a diseased eye, had to have it removed and replaced with glass. You wouldn’t know unless you looked really hard. Whilst this one of us has come to terms with this, they still worry how their eye might look when they are tired, or what other people might think if they notice the eye is drooping. And talking of eyes, there is a member of the group that has a condition known as Strabismus – a wandering eye. This is a visible condition and over their life has caused this person much difficulty when others stared or made comment. When they met their ‘soulmate’ for the first time, they worried what they would think. (It turned out ok – they got married two weeks ago!)

And the final one of us has a chronic inflammatory pain condition, affecting every part of the body. This condition requires heavy duty medication, that causes side effects and a heavy load for the body. Difficult decisions have to be made around when and how to do life. 

My group have their challenges. My clients have their challenges too. There is the client who suffered debilitating panic attacks after a marriage of over 30 years ended suddenly. The client who faces a terminal cancer diagnosis way too early in life. The client who has a serious inflammatory bowel disease that has now resulted in a colostomy bag. And the client that has a childhood background of emotional and sexual abuse who now in adulthood, constantly battles difficulty with intimacy and trust in their relationship.

To the outsider, no one would know of either my groups challenges or those of my clients – the challenges are private and invisible. Every human being has their frailties – its the judgements from others that drives them in. We have to accept our vulnerabilities and accept those parts of ourselves that we deem unsatisfactory. We have to work on that in order to come to terms with it. 

We all know the slogan – “not all disabilities are visible”. None of my group are disabled – but we are challenged. And we have all had shocking experiences involving looks, comments and judgements that hurt. 

They say that “you should never judge a man until you have walked a mile in his shoes” So this blog is a reminder to us all, that we need to be nice to other people. To be kind. And to stop and consider that every one of us have internal challenges. 

Kindness in any relationship is seriously underrated. In my group, we operate from a backbone of kindness. If you have a kind person in your life, please acknowledge them, hold onto them and don’t take them for granted. They are not as easy to find as you might think.

#notallchallengesarevisible

#justbekind

7 Go On Holiday – May 2026

(Full permission was given by the group to post this blog)