Irritation is an invitation ……… This statement caught my attention recently and it got me thinking. Much has been written and many podcasts created on this subject including its challenges and its benefits.
No one wants to feel that the ‘rug has been pulled’ from under their feet or that we are experiencing pain or difficulty. Who really enjoys being pushed out of their comfort zone? And what type of person is happy to accept a loss in their life? Certainly not me.
And yet, the psychologists, influencers, gurus and coaches tell us time and time again – that through some of our hardest moments, unexpected blessings can be realised – often not at the time, but on later reflection.
Poppy Jamie – The Book of Magical Living – 8 Secrets to Inner Power – writes …..“The irony of disaster is that its often the beginning of the best thing that ever happened to you”. She goes on ….. “Emotional discomfort is like soreness after a good workout – it signals growth. When you embrace the idea that the greatest enlightenment is found after a period of darkness, challenging times feel less scary”.
In the ‘old days’ we would have said “every cloud has a silver lining” or “when one door closes, another one opens” – both worth considering and still relevant in this landscape.
As a therapist, often seeing clients at their lowest and during the most challenging times of their lives, it would be both inappropriate and uncaring of me to say to a bereaved client for example, to “look on the bright side – things happen for a reason”. What I would say, is “lets find a way to help you look at that differently”. My job is to help a client reframe a difficult situation. I can use hypnotherapy, NLP, coaching or EMDR to help.
A client recently presented with a cancer diagnosis and a short time later, her beloved Mother passed away – a double blow. She chose to look at this situation more positively by adopting the view that her mum had passed away to free her from the daily Alzheimers care she needed, allowing my client to focus and face her own healing journey to be well. She came to this view herself, after some discussion with me. Her ‘irritation’ was an invitation to get well and to quite literally stay alive.
And then there is the example of the client who unexpectedly was made redundant. She was able, due to the work she’s been doing on personal development, to realise that she wasn’t happy in the job. She had always been anxious and had a difficult relationship with her boss that showed no signs of improving. She reframed this ‘irritation’ as a chance to seek a new career, better suited to the needs of herself and her young daughter. She felt “surprisingly ok” about this challenge.
Roxie Nafousi in her book ‘Manifest’ writes…. “Our subconscious finds comfort in what is familiar to us, even if what is familiar is not what is good for us. Any challenge requires you to step out of your comfort zone. It’s a non negotiable”.
It is only when we are out of our comfort zone that we can change. And change = different = something new. Sometimes we find ourselves in discomfort because someone or something else has put us there. Sometimes, we have to make the decision to put ourselves there. Either way, discomfort is to be welcomed.
“The word crisis is from the Greek, meaning ‘a moment to decide’. The reoccurring moments of crisis and decision, when understood, are growth junctures, points of initiation which mark a release from one state of being and a growth into the next” (Poppy Jamie)
Next time you are faced with an irritation or a crisis – pause and take a moment to decide. How are you going to choose to live your life from that point towards? Albert Einstein states…“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle”.
Can you choose to find the miracle in your challenge? The ability to choose how you feel and act in any given moment, no matter what you are facing, invites you to experience something new that is ultimately different. And it’s only when things are different that we can be ‘better’ It may not be easy, but it is entirely possible.
You do have a choice 💛
