This week’s blog is a result of newsletter inspiration from British podcaster, author, life coach and former Hindu monk – Jay Shetty. Many of you will know of Jay as he’s prominent across all social media platforms, having gained global prominence by blending ancient mindful practices with digital content.

Last week’s newsletter came with shared wisdom – “If you’re an ocean, be an ocean. Don’t become a pond just because people can’t swim”.

Upon seeing this, I immediately thought of several clients with whom it may resonate. There is the client who is slowly ‘shrinking’ and losing her voice because she’s dealing with a larger than life employee, who pushes her buttons, challenges her and it results in her feeling she’s all out of options. The client who blamed himself when his now ex wife remarked he was ‘asking for too much’ (actually his requests were ‘normal’ in any long term relationship) and so he ‘dulled’ himself down, lost his voice and stopped asking for his needs to be met in the marriage. And I have a client who ‘dimmed’ her light because she had been taught by her upbringing that “we don’t celebrate success because we don’t want people to think we are arrogant”. And so it goes on.

I see so many clients that have downplayed their achievements, quietened their voice or hidden their true potential because they were afraid of being judged or misunderstood.

The following are words from Jay – full credit goes to his ‘the daily wisdom’ newsletter:

“We often shrink ourselves to appease the people around us, but the truth is, your smallness does not serve the world. When you dilute who you are to match the comfort level of someone else, you are denying yourself your own gifts and denying other people what they may need.

Holding back your energy, your ideas, and enthusiasm so you don’t come across as “too much”, is dimming your light. If someone cannot handle the depth of who you are, the scale of your ambition, or the fullness of your love, that is not a reflection of your worth.

It may just be a reflection of their current capacity.

By standing more fully in who you are, you may encourage others to do the same. You don’t have to break yourself into smaller pieces just to fit into spaces you have outgrown”.

One of my many roles as a coach and therapist is to help clients turn up to the ‘job’ of their life, knowing that inherently, as the person they are at their core, there is “nothing wrong with me’. Mel Robbins invites us to “wake up every single day and believe there is nothing wrong with me”. For us to “accept ourselves exactly as we are and exactly as we aren’t”. She says of course there are things that we can improve about ourselves, but that if we fundamentally believe ‘there is nothing wrong with me’ we can start to change the relationship that we have with ourselves – and have the courage to be an ‘ocean’.

If you are functioning in the world from a place of smallness, then I can help. All details can be found on the hypnotherapy, NLP and life coaching pages.

Jay says, “The main point is: do not apologise for the depth of your soul. Be the ocean, and let others learn to swim”